Help! Gooogle-sensei!! - Volume 3 - Chapter 1
Chapter 1: Fuhahahaha, My Turn Forever!
I'm not a [hero].
I'm a [demon king].
......I was young in the past too, even now I'm still 11 years old, very young. That means, I don't have youth period? No no, not like this.
So close, I was about to be infected by Sieg-niisama's sickness.
There should be still about 3 years grace-period until I start being chuuni.
Yeah, I'm a demon king, but there's even greater king in this Alps United Kingdom.
He's the [Dragon King], and also insect cuisine cooks, Rony-san.
To catch men's heart, you must catch their stomach first, but I don't know, that way can also catch a dragon's heart too.
Basically, dragon won't hear any 'order' other than their master's.
But, they will hear their friend's 'request'.
So, if Rony-san the insect cuisine cooks ask, 'Can you burn the half of world for me?' they will accept it with their consent.
Even though nee-san reigns as the empress, it doesn't mean the wild dragons are under her control.
Looks like even though I have been disinherited by Grosse Kingdom, Rony-san still pledge loyalty to me.
Let's say this friendship is eternal.
Let's split this world in half. And divide it friendly to each other♪ Rony and me, half each♪
And by cooperating each other, the happiness will double♪
About two months after the collapse of Frank Empire.
Many things happened.
First the capital Paris is destroyed.
It's the place where many princes and princesses live originally, and it's the place where Charlemagne's castle is, and many imperial guards didn't obey the demon king from the bottom of their heart. And of course the guards of royal capital too, so that place fall into chaos because everyone don't know who is their ally and enemy.
One thing I regret is that I missed Eiffel Tower, maybe?
And, although their founder is the child of demon king, but as generations passed, their relation was fading out, and they started to fight amongst each other.
Someone claims to be the imperial prince, someone claims to be the imperial princess, and someone claims to be the one who should become the ruler of Frank, so disputes between factions happened.
A whole nation around the former Spain which is located quite far from capital declared their independence, separating it into east and west, and declared war to each other. And Portugal participated in the war too.
The former vassal states broke off their connection and declared war.
If I have to say so myself......[I have no idea what I'm doing]. Most likely, this is the most accurate description.
Various things happened, but when snow started to fall, everyone stopped.
Human army is weak in winter.
If snow starts to fall, you have no choice but to think about returning back and stop.
When I asked [NTR-gou] isn't winter a bit harsh for you because reptiles are weak to cold?, he answered his master's question while happily adding an attack by swinging his tail.
’’I'm a dragon, you know!! Even though you're my master Karl, I won't allow you to call me a reptile! And that defence, to take my attack dauntlessly and stay unhurt is so irritating!!’’
He swung it 2-3 times like abusing a child but the result is [Nururin♪Nururin♪], what wrong with this country's law of child welfare!! Yes, it didn't exist!!
And at last, [NTR-gou] gave up, sighed a really loooooong and deep sigh, and exhausted completely, so after a long time, I can make it clear who master and servant again.
Well, the enemy's land force can't move, but our air force can.
Is this.......I can do whatever I want state!?
Hurray for the dragon king!! Sieg! Dragon king! Sieg! Dragon king! Hurray for Rony-samaaaaaaaaaaa!
By the way, I planned to make dragon corps by beating up every dragon in Alps mountain range, but one master can only get one dragon. Doing a battle of death(literally) by surrounding their candidate master, and the last standing one will be his servant.
It was impossible from the start.
So first, let's start by teasing the strongest remnant of Frank Empire, Hiruhiru.
Hiruhiru, after that battle-like thing with Baka-chin, she stayed on guard and watched whether there will be a second wave around Nice.
Or else, she's just hated being embraced by that idiot lewd demon king?
And like that, she delayed the march to the extent of not being unnatural.
Well, because she's doing thing like that! She's getting a late start in participating Frank Empire succession royal battle though.
You wouldn't believe that demon king who lived over 13,000 years to be dead, normally. .....Oi, you, schemer Maximilian, you're not normal.
After various things at the decisive battle field, Caen, it took a very long time for an information to reach that remote land from the capital Paris without any complication.
Isn't Hiruhiru the last person to realize about the death of the demon king because she's in Nice for vacation?
Well, I invited her to this faraway land for that though. *chuckle*
And, she went home but she has 3 million troops under her control, so she can't be hasty, right?
In addition, regional lords started to revolt, hindering their passage in the end.
A nuisance appears, not knowing the situation, and must keep an eye towards Baka-chin city behind her, making her at loss.
Nevertheless, she managed to travel from Nice to Marseille and Avignon, and going to north until Lyon, as what I would expected. As expected of the hasty princess general, Hiruhiru.
However, she was caught by Winter Shogun-sama.
[TL Note: as in severe winter. Pls don't be like kekel that remembers konosuba instead]
Maan, everyone can't win against weather. Except Charlotte who is loved by the heavens!!
Uhn? Those heaven bastards, looking at my Charlotte with eyes full of lust! We got someone stronger than heaven, the great Gooogle-sensei, you know!!
Should I destroy those heaven bastards!?
[Karl-sama, do you want to destroy this current universe?]
Stahp. Stahp. I beg you, stahp.
[TL Note: Karl used ’’Yamete tsukaasai’’ here, which is a funny (as in weird) way to speak. Probably a reference to how Haruna from Arpeggio of Blue Steel/Aoki Hagane no Arpeggio speaks sometimes.]
Now then, the connection with Karl-san in the field have been established.
’’The dragon has comee!!’’
The boy who cried wolf, he died because he lied.
But I'm not lying, so I won't die.
’’Gyaasu! Gyaasu! Gyaasu!!’’
Well, even if I don't say it, the dragon's' roar will be heard in the town first.
Borrowing the power of the great dragon king, I will bombard them from the sky.
Everyone inside Lyon city fled into buildings while screaming, 'Kyaa kyaa! Dragon-san is cool!'.
The magic of Hiruhiru's magic corps is terrifying, so I commanded the dragon to dive from high altitude, pinpoint the bomb accurately while gliding horizontally, and rise immediately to escape to high altitude.
Fufufu, that dive bombing and that inverted spike movement made me remember about that living uncyclopedia, the great demon king, His Excellency Rudel.
Magic corps? Hahaha, no one even managed to see.
Amazing, so amazing, my dragon corps!! ......ah, the corps is the dragon king, Rony-sama's belonging.
If it's convenient materials to be dropped to the city, there's as many as you want.
For example, the lumbers black mantises cut when they're trying to corner the elves, we have 100 years stock of lumbers.
Those're plainly an hindrance, right? It'll be troublesome for reforestation if we leave those thing rot.
So I ask our minister of environment who can just die because he's being surrounded by elves, Denis-kun to take care of it, and I use this opportunity to drop those here for disposal. And many other things which lying around there too.
Industrial waste, industrial waste, the island of dream♪
’’Karl, how dare you! To do this every time! How dare you doing as you want knowing we can't move!! This debt, I will definitely return it! Say your prayers!!’’
’’Onee-sama, didn't you rate Karl-sama very highly before? If I remember it correctly, didn't you say he's a great man.....’’
That Hiruhiru's little brother who's so honest to the extent you can't think he's her little brother, Pippin-kun asks.
The only good point of that lewd fool demon king is his children are beautiful.
However, Pippin-kun is beautiful and honest, so cute, isn't he? So at Geneva, the flat faced baron is compared with him huh.......
I will forgive you, Hiruhiru, really.
So I will make you taste the utmost humiliating taste of defeat!!
’’Nuuuuuuuuuuuu!! Pippin, Absolutely, don't be a man like Karl, okay? I will raise as a honest man as you now, okay!? Do you understand? Do you understand, right!?’’
Eh? I'm honest you know? To my heart. Very, very honest.
Looks like he's scared of his sister's because she's so threatening......No, he's completely scared, he can only nod. Isn't that a bit too pitiful?
You can't vent your anger on someone like that, Hiruhiru.
’’Damn! Damn! Damn!!’’
Because of the unusual shameful sight of his sister, Pippin-kun didn't know what answer should he reply, how pitiful.
I'm sorry, Pippin-kun. All of it happened because Hiruhiru's fault.
The next target is Baka-chin city, in this occassion, let's shopping for stuff.
O~~~nce upon a time, there's a group of holy knights that lived in this country. But it was far in the past, about three months ago.
The red mantises went mad out of anger, becoming a big gas and filling up space. Killing the cardinal, swallowed the holy knights, and the zombies fight until they died of blood loss.
Since then, only 3 intellectual race live in that country.
First is the self-proclaimed saints with their ameteur level fighting ability who received the favor of god, <divine Protection>.
Then, the fantasy world's human who has been for a very long time tormented by those self-proclaimed saints.
And the last, even though they finally escaped from the life of slave, they can't throw away their hatred, the former fugitive demi-human slaves, and the idiots who came from far away and unrelated to those slaves, the demi-human supremacist.
Undoubtedly, it's three kingdoms.
Hahahaha, who is Wei, Wu and Shu?
Then, I will be the Yellow Turban Rebellion! Precisely, Zhang Jue! Chronological order? Like I care.
Speaking of zombie movie, shopping in the shopping mall is the standard, right!!
For shopping you need basket. So, I prepare handbags for dragon use.
It's big, isn't it?
Rather than handbag, it's more like bucket, huh?
With this, there's a worth for us shopping.
’’Albrecht-dono. And everyone from combat troops. Everyone from transportation corps. After that, elves, dwarves, and many other demi humans...... I offer my gratitude to you all who still followed me even though I'm nothing but a disinherited prince. From now on, do you still want to follow me!?’’
’’Prince Karl......No, Karl-sama, please don't say some fishy stuff like that..... We think just by being at your side is an honor. We will follow you who create and give us this peaceful land, Alps United Kingdom!!’’
Moved by Albrecht-kun's words. And, I thank everyone who nodded by his words too.
To follow someone like me......
So, I cram them all inside shopping bag.
’’Ka-Karl-sama!? What is the meaning of this!?’’
Dragon didn't like to let anyone other than their master to ride them. Far from dislike, more like they will show their killing intent. Even with a request from their master, they'll barely do it.
So, so I turned everyone who wants to follow me to hand luggage.
’’Man, didn't you say everyone wants to follow me? Didn't they nod to that?’’
’’No, not like this!!’’
’’Follow me. Okay, dragons, every passenger has been crammed inside shopping bag, let's depart~’’
Without any agreement, the take off was done.
And of course, I ride on [NTR-gou]'s back.
If I go inside another dragon's shopping bag, he will be jealous, you know?
It can't be helped, right?
The exciting dragon shopping. Our first target is the granary.
In the first place, it's food for 1.5 million holy knights, and there should be the portion prepared for fugitive slave too, I think just by taking it a bit drastically won't affect them that much.
Dragons eat quite much, so let's convince them first.
Using Albrecht-kun and friends who just came down from the shopping bag to fill the empty shopping bag with food.
Hey you over there, no vomiting, just steal it at once!!
The dragons with full bag are to go home once, and inform them to meet again in the next meeting point.
Because around ten dragons surrounded one building, everyone from Baka-chin city let us fill the shopping bag without any resistance.
In the midway, there's some gaudy buildings and gorgeous buildings, quite beautiful or so i thought, so I take every goldish and silverish thing, and every shiny stone too.
Of course, after surrounding it with dragons.
And the source of life, salt it is. As I expected of land which is surrounded by sea. The salt making is prosperous and their emergency stock was so much.
Let's quickly carry it.
At times, some say, ’’Non-aggression pact!’’, but we only say, ’’If you enter this mountain, you will die’’, so I don't know such thing.
There's no pact, you know?
Just in case, only those saints' storages, buildings, and houses I aimed without reserve, so I think there're enough left for them live in honorable poverty.
From north until south, from east until west, this long boot shaped shopping mall is too big.
In the midway, there's a remarkably gorgeous tenant in the land called Rome, and inside a room I found an acquaintance of mine, no, an unilateral acquaintance.
If I remember correctly, is he that Lauro-kun the <Foresight>?
I don't know what he sees with his eyes, but well probably it's not a good future. Look, aren't Christianity like something like The Book of Revelation (Revelation to John)?
Dear wish, dear wish. Sodom and Gomorrah, please.
[TL Note: it means, day of wrath, for more information click here]
He muttered that one word.
No, my name is Karl, not Nobunaga, you know?
[TL Note: a joke regarding Nobunaga's title Demon king of the Sixth Heaven/Dairokuten Maou]
And, I'm the weakest among my friends, you know?
If you compare me with Roni-san the 'Dragon King', I'm just like a trash.
In the end, I will leave some foodstuff and necessities enough to live about five years, only the fact the dragons dropped them inside the region where the former slaves of fantasy world live is a bit disappointing.
Because you can't pick it in three seconds, three seconds rule doesn't apply anymore, really unfortunate.
Slaves who succeed in escaping and slaves who failed.
The human chosen by good, The human of fantasy world, The demi-human supremacist.
I think there's a very, very deep relation which can't be described with words among you all.
While being moved by that beautiful friendship, my first time shopping in Italia ended.
As a result of taking them inside shopping bucket, I felt the loyalty of Albrecht-kun went down about 10, so I think I must choose command ’’Reward: 100 G’’ for several times.
That game can buy loyalty with money and stuff, right?
Looks like after I gave Roni-sama the ’’Dragon King’’ ’’Casu Marzu’’, which said is a cursed cheese, his mood went back to normal. After all, that's a ’’Curse’’.
[TL Note: dunno is it true or not, I think the author trying to make a pun cause Casu and Curse is the same in katakana.]
This is the cheese with living maggots squirming inside it, and at the moment he saw this, his face said, ’’That's it!!’’, so I think I showed him that his insect culinary world can expand even more.
[TL Note: relevant]
That's right, insects is not just a shell!!
Even though, I absolutely won't put that in my mouth though!!
......Ah, I forgot to see Bocca della Verità.
[TL Note: Mouth of truth, a marble mask in Rome]
And, it still continues! Fuhahahaha, my turn forever!
’’First, congratulations. And, I'd better sing praises. Congratulations, the former legitimate King of Habsburg and also the present King of East Habsburg, Your Majesty King Ferdinand.’’
’’What kind of sarcasm is that? Ambassador Karl-dono’’
While smile wryly, he laughs really pleasantly.
’’No, not at all, because when I met you previously, Your Majesty looked so sad because of losing West Habsburg which is like your own brother. I think in this occasion it really is a good news so I complemented.’’
’’Kukkukku, I'm really happy. And, disinherited prince, Ambassador Karl. In this cold weather, I wonder what is your business? Surrender recommendation? Or like when you come to declare war before that?
Currently, above the castle, a crowd of dragons flying about, it was a big dragon gunboat diplomacy.
Actually, it's just like a diplomacy while bringing nuclear weapon into the capital.
’’No, we come only to tell the words from our empress. When your country became Habsburg Kingdom officially, we gave our congratulatory gifts and letter addressed to you. However you paid no mind to celebrate the founding of Alps United Kingdom by not sending even a letter. If it's because you despise our country because it's the country of vulgar dragons, we will respond accordingly' so she said. In exchange for the congratulatory gift we wish to claim the whole Alps mountain range. How would you respond? Your Majesty.’’
We won't declare war.
But, we will extort some land as congratulatory gift, what a power is justice diplomacy. Really easy and great.
’’............*sigh*~~~~~. How rude I am. So as an apology, we will renounce our responsibility from the whole mountain range area which become our border. We will move our border toward the base of mountain, so can you tell your empress about my apology for rudeness?’’
In the letter [If you enter the mountain you die] was written, a very easy thing to understand, so let alone giving congratulatory gift, they can't even give the letter, you know?
Eeh, of course, the one who wrote that is me.
Because, nee-san can't hold a pen.
’’However......there's a really troublesome country beside my country border. Looks like it will end in my generation......’’
His Majesty Ferdinand became gloomy, even I myself would be like that too if I'm in your stead.
’’No, this is not so bad like that. The dragons really like to eat insects race, so please inform us if you found insects race inside your country. And I have informed this to countries around ours, and they really happy about that. Of course, we won't take any charge. But, because of that please permit us to fly in your sky.’’
If Roni the 'Dragon King' made the food, no matter it's insect or whatever it will become delicious, and the dragons too will gladly exterminate the insects to curry the favor of the 'Dragon King' and deliver it to him.
If you think about the future, looks like we need to prepare the 2nd and the 3rd 'Dragon King', I think.
Should I just make insect to Alps United Kingdom's local cuisine?
I think everyone will cry, shout, and scream in happiness for that.
’’Ooh, that's actually great. Isn't it?’’
An extraordinary absurdity, a gift from heaven, in exchange for renouncing their land.
’’Right? In the other countries too, by all means, please tell them to let us build our dragon station in their mountains.’’
In reality, without relying the dragons living inside Alps, we can just talk with the local dragons.
Just by circulation the information about gourmet like, 'If you bring insects to the 'Dragon King', he will make you a delicious meal.' is already enough.
For wild animals who don't know the concept of gourmet are really weak to <Cuisine>divine protection, aren't they?
Really, 'Dragon King'-sama is really a living state secret.
’’I understood, there's a benefit, no, big benefitting in our side too, right? So can you give the permission for our messenger to enter the mountain for giving the information about outbreak?’’
I give the flag I prepared to him.
It's a flag with marvelous dragon and Alps mountains in the background.
The national flag of our Alps United Kingdom.
’’Okay, if you wave this flag, upon seeing this, without having to go towards our country, our dragon will come to you.’’
The information network of wild dragons is faster than aunties' gossip network.
’’Okay, only monster come out from such place like mountain. There's no objection if I can get the protection from dragon just by giving such place.....No, it's really a dream-like requirement. I cried oftenly because of insects race invasion...... I can't do such thing like that, too busy, it's already well-known that many people become the victim of that in history. And I take an account that West Habsburg is about to be destroyed once because of that, it's really, an attractive condition. Might as well to prepare an article for our gratitude.’’
’’Then, one thing. Please contact the countries around your perimeter, to prepare an environment where you can communicate about insects race outbreak. The insects race invasion is not a laughable topic.’’
’’..................................................................Okay, I accept.’’
With this, the anti insects race invasion for Southeastern Europe tactics come to an end, and this act bring to the construction of high alert enemy searching defense network.