Gomen Ne, Onii-sama - Volume 3 - Chapter 2
The Villainess' Exhaustion, and the Man who Extended a Hand
I have been abandoned, the instant that thought crossed my mind, 'I' was relieved.
I have been abandoned, when that was confirmed, 'Origa' was furious.
The development I was waiting for, appeared before me not as a story but instead a reality.
With strangely realistic blood and a burnt smell.
――I cannot afford to die in such a place.
――I wish this story would hurry up and end already.
――I will be worthless if I die here.
――Let it all end already.
As various thoughts passed through my mind, I continued destroying the magic sealing stones absentmindedly.
It is a simple process. If there is an area where it is difficult for me to use magic, I just need to burn it to the ground.
I don't remember how many people were burned down in the process, both my consciousness and memory became fuzzy partway through.
If there is no one that I have to protect within the vicinity, my magic can be used indefinitely.
I can just burn everything that approaches me.
The small magic sealing stones can be destroyed without too much difficulty.
But since I have to avoid the attacks of the soldiers bearing them, in the end, I am forced to fight seriously.
By the time I learnt that I would be injured if I wasn't serious, my tendon in my left arm had already been cut.
As I lost too much blood my consciousness became hazy, but more importantly, my mana is about to be exhausted and it has become difficult to use advanced magic.
Even so, I must live, that thought alone kept my moving.
Turning my eyes away from why I want to live.
And I continued disposing of them mechanically until someone jumped out in front of me.
At some point, someone was calling out to me.
After being called to, and having my hand grabbed, I finally realized that the person was an ally.
The voice I heard startled me――ahh, this must be a dream.
Although I managed to open my mouth which had clenched tightly so that I don't lose consciousness, my voice did not come out well.
As I called out to the person with black hair in a hoarse voice, his tense expression relaxed slightly.
’’Hey, show me your arm. You haven't cauterize the wound yet?’’
Sporting a military uniform, his face was strained with worry as he held my arm.
That's right, this is the battlefield.
As he is wearing a military uniform I opened my mouth to report the situation.
They aimed at the moment when it was my turn to sleep. When I was tired from the continuous battles. When my magic power had ran out.
A reproachful voice echoed that such things weren't excuses within my head.
Because, the magicians he entrusted to me, the magicians who trusted me, I...
’’......couldn't protect them.’’
Even though I must protect them.
Perhaps he had heard the words I quietly muttered, he looked up from my arm and after a slight moment of hesitation, Atlas' hand slowly touched my head.
I thought that his fingers would get dirty, but since it is just within a dream it should be alright, so I didn't say anything.
In a dream, he wouldn't be defiled by my sins.
While gazing blankly at his eyes with my blurry vision, he quietly whispered in a muffled voice.
’’Retreat is the priority right now.’’
As he said that, ivy slithered across the ground with Atlas at its center.
From what I've read it is magic used for locating enemies.
If I recall, it was only used a single time in the story.
To make a backline supporting character appear on the frontline as a main character, it is funny how inconsistent this dream was.
My spinning vision made the happy illusion waver.
Atlas who is a supporting character but one of the main character's friend, is using magic for my sake. He is concerned for me.
What a happy dream this is.
It's as if this was the focus of the story.
As if I am――
’’Why are you, here?’’
’’I came to rescue you. The others are creating a diversion......ahh, that flame over there.’’
Atlas pointed towards flames rising with a roar briefly in the depths of the forest, and I sluggishly turned my gaze towards that direction.
And the colour of the bright flames woke me up instantly.
I immediately deduced who those flames belong to.
――Then..this is reality.
I pushed away Atlas in disgust and took a few steps away with the little strength I had left.
He looked at me in surprise and before he could say say anything, I interrupted.
There shouldn't be any rescue.
How much time had passed since then.
Since the fort had been recaptured. Since the magicians died. Since the last rescue signal.
My dulled mind spilled out meaningless words according to my emotions.
’’The rescue signal...... but Harvester-sama......me.’’
Atlas reached out his hand, questioning what I was saying.
The hand of salvation that I had saw in my dreams――I knocked it away as if dispelling an illusion, and shouted out.
The 'me' inside my head was calm, whispering that the enemy will find us, while 'Origa' burnt with anger, wanting to burn everything away.
My voice was trembling.
In truth, I didn't want to face reality.
In truth, I want to immerse myself in this dream.
’’I know that the fort was recaptured! But how many days have passed since then? Even though we were close by, Harvester-sama, no one came to help!’’
One person after another cut down by the sword.
The healing magic couldn't keep up, blood kept flowing, bodies and limbs fells, unable to bear the pain, they begged to be burned by my flame and died.
Even so, they continued believing that help would arrive, the faces of those that smiled as they suffered and died, are burnt into my mind forever.
People who wanted to live, died. People who wanted to die, asked for my flames.
We bore the risk numerous times to send up rescue signals into the sky.
However, every time we launched one into the sky, our despair began gradually building up.
It was as if I were watching the end of 'me'.
’’Don't touch me.’’
At the recaptured fort, the flag of an unfamiliar knight order and the flag of Harvester-sama was raised.
That would mean that the fort is under the protection of the knight order and magicians.
If only the knight order was there, then it would mean His Majesty had pulled some strings. However, if Harvester-sama's flag is also raised then it would mean the magicians are also there.
That's why, I kept sending up the rescue signal with hope―――there weren't just soldiers but also fellow magicians fighting on the same battlefield, yet they abandoned their comrades.
Even if it were written in the story, how could such a thing a thing be permitted.
I am the villian.
If you want to kill me, if you want to set me up, then just focus on me alone.
There are countless sacrifices in the background of the story. However, they are not seen by the eyes of the hero.
That is why, I wasn't aware of such a reality.
The villain facing the hero, I wasn't aware of how the story lead to that.
How the villain was toyed with and ended up standing in that wasteland.
What the villain thought, standing there.
’’What do you want. What do you want to use a person that was abandoned for?’’
In the end I, the Rujils, will only be hated magicians that are only burdens in the coming age.
They (This country) came to that conclusion and decided to get rid of me.
Ignoring everything 'Origa' has done to protect the country.
Even though they are also magicians, they acted like they are the victims.
And acted as if all the sins are 'Origa's'
Even though they betrayed me. Even though they sold me out. Even thought they toyed with me. Even though they trampled my dignity. Even though they threatened me with hostages. Even though they are sinners that killed.
Even though you are the ones that made the 'Lady of the Inferno' even thought you killed 'me' like that, justice pretends to extend a hand to me?
’’Answer me, If you refuse to answer――’’
Depending on his answer, I don't mind burning him to death.
I started weaving magic with those heated thoughts.
I might not have enough magic power to kill him.
However, even if I fail to in the first shot, I will continue as many times necessary.
Because I cannot afford to die in such a place.
However, the low voice of Atlas doused my burning, tumultuous emotions.
’’My father died when the fort fell.’’
The words were strained and stiff, while his gaze hard. And his serious tone meant this wasn't a lie.
My concentration broke, and the gathered magic power collapsed before taking form.
’’Because..such a thing..’’
The hero's guardian (Harvester-sama) was suppose to stay alive until the death of the Lady of the Inferno.
That's why, I wasn't worried about leaving Harvester-sama at the fort.
’’The Magician and the Country of Night’’ Country of Night’’ was suppose to be a story where no one but the villain dies.
The heroes would face many hardships, but would save everyone in the end, it was that kind of story.
It should be a story of a grand tale.
But, I distorted the story.
Did that change end up killing a person who was suppose to live?
Did that change end up causing things to go wrong?
Since when did the gears of this world become so twisted?
――Since when have I been looking away from the answer to that.
Atlas' hand once again took my arm as I stood dumbfounded, but this time I had no more energy left to resist.
He gently grasped my left arm with his right, and whispered quietly to me.
’’......Apply pressure to it. Although this is only emergency treatment, I will close the wound for now.’’
The healing magic soaked into the bleeding wound and slowly closed it.
Although it is closed, I don't know if I'll be able to move it again.
There is no need to use magic for something so meaningless.
Even though I tried saying this, as if a fog blanketed my thoughts, the words did not form.
Perhaps the magic that Atlas used also had a soothing effect.
My emotions that made me refuse to listen to his quiet words began to slowly calm down.
’’I'm sure, he was worried about you till the end.’’
If it was Harvester-sama, then surely.
The feeling of his large hand stroked my head passed through my mind.
It was larger than Atlas' and warmer.
The face behind that hand was always smiling.
’’There are a lot of people who don't want you to return. ......but, I made a promise to bring you back to someone who is praying for your return.
Just who, is he talking about.
I, who let many magicians die, who slaughtered numerous enemies, who will stand on top a mountain of corpses.
Just who, would wish for my return.
’’Let's go back, Origa.’’
My mind is a mess. I can't think. I can't decide what was best.
However, through my blurred vision of tears, my trembling hand gripped the large hand that was held out to me.
And I simply watched as blood stained the dark blue military uniform of Atlas.